hi, i am an a.j.
ask me anything.
these are words. sometimes they make sense and often they do not.
things may make sense to me that do not make sense to you.
so my doctor wants to prescribe me a medication [riluzole] which is usually used for treatment of ALS but has been used lately as an OCD medication and there have been limited trials in patients with autism to decrease self-injurious and repetitive behaviors. he wants to use this in a combination with an SSRI, because those have been shown to make autistic behaviors worse.
this riluzole will potentially eliminate ALL of my “autistic behaviors.” this would mean no more head hitting, no more biting, much less anxiety, and even no more problems with transitions and rigidity of routine and scheduling.
however…this also means no more handflapping, no more rocking, no more spinning, no more toe walking. and those things make me feel better, in a way that other things do not.
i cannot decide if this medication is something that i really want to try, or if it is something to which i am opposed. i could try it for a while, and then go off of it, but that depends on whether or not i am actually morally opposed to it, which comes down to a few questions:
am i something that needs to be fixed? or am i something which works okay on its own, even though society rejects me?
is this a medication helpful to me? or is this the beginning of the eradication of my people?
i have always, always spit on the idea of a cure for autism. i was born this way. but is this a true cure? or just a treatment which could help?
i have a week to decide. please help.
also please do not be mean to me or anyone else involved in this question. respond with a polite answer, or not at all.
also also, if you aren’t autistic or other ~bad brains~ [or one of my friends], please don’t bother getting involved. this is not about you.
You know how it is, right, ladies? You know a guy for a while. You hang out with him. You do fun things with him—play video games, watch movies, go hiking, go to concerts. You invite him to your parties. You listen to his problems. You do all this because you think he wants to be your friend.
But then, then comes the fateful moment where you find out that all this time, he’s only seen you as a potential girlfriend. And then if you turn him down, he may never speak to you again. This has happened to me time after time: I hit it off with a guy, and, for all that I’ve been burned in the past, I start to think that this one might actually care about me as a person. And then he asks me on a date.
I tell him how much I enjoy his company, how much I value his friendship. I tell him that I really want to be his friend and to continue hanging out with him and talking about our favorite books or exploring new restaurants or making fun of avant-garde theatre productions. But he rejects me. He doesn’t answer my calls or e-mails; if we’d been making plans to do something before this fateful incident, these plans mysteriously fail to materialize. (This is why I never did get around to seeing the Hunger Games movie. Not to name any names, but thanks a lot, Tom.) Later, when I run into him at social events, our conversations are awkward and lukewarm. This is because the moment we met, he put me in the girlfriend-zone, and now he can’t see me as friend material.
I must say that I find this really unfair. I mean, I’m a nice girl. I have a lot to offer as a friend, like not being a douchebag and stuff. But males just don’t want to be friends with nice girls like me. They can’t help it, I guess; it’s just how they’re wired, biologically. Evolution conditioned our male hominid ancestors to seek nice girls as mates and form friendship bonds only with the other dudes that they hunted mammoths with. It’s true—I know this because I studied hominids in my fifth-grade science class.
So what’s the answer? Should I take up mammoth-hunting in an attempt to appeal to the friendship centers of men’s primal lizardbrains? Should I keep making guy “friends” and then prevent them from making a move on me by subtly undermining their self-confidence? Should I just give up on those manipulative, game-playing, two-faced bastards once and for all? I don’t know. I mean, I’d really like to have a true friendship with a guy someday, but it’s so hard to trust and respect them when they never say what they mean—and you never know when you might be relegated to the girlfriend-zone.
There’s a difference between
The fact that we all know what this means really says something about our social lives
you should all go to your blogs and hover over them
judging myself so harshly right now
mostly because my first thought was paint chips…
we found love in a mildly disappointing place
now you’re just somebody that i know by first name
tonight, we are average age
i walk this fairly populated road
carry on my adequately well-adjusted son
What is average age
i chime in with a “guys, if you could close the door, that’d be pretty cool, thanks”